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“Everything in the world displeases me: but, above all, my displeasure in everything displeases me.” — Nietzsche (via mirroir)
(Source: man-of-prose, via zi-nx)
summer break is here.
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i am so fucking done with this text book.
(Source: johneggsandbacon, via u-ok)
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I choked up real bad during a presentation in class today :/ I kept losing my train of thought mid-sentence, needed a second to breathe - even the professor had to tell me to calm down. I’ve always been nervous in front of a lot of people, but I never actually choked up like that before. Yipes, I’m so embarrassed. Whatever, good thing that was the last class of the semester.
ONE MORE CLASS THEN I’M FREAKIN’ DONE!
look at dat booty
show me da booty
gimme the booty
i want the booty
back up the booty
i need the booty
I like the booty
oh, what a booty
I crave the booty
lemme bite dat booty
lemme touch dat booty
my leg
(Source: canadumb, via memewhore)
The other day a customer told me I have the “Long Island lockjaw” and don’t open my mouth enough when I speak or pronounce my words correctly. I found it offense, mainly because she was already being very rude AND I’m already very self conscious about how I sound when I speak as it is. I’ve actually tried to train myself to enunciate and articulate my words better while alone at home a couple of times for the hell of it. Normally when I hear myself in recordings I sound like I’m slurring my words together (drunk or sober) or trialing off mid-sentence, due to shyness or some other stupid social phobia. I would try to open my mouth more while speaking, it felt like I was making stupid faces, but when I would record myself speaking with a wider mouth, it looked normal and I sounded more…enthused I guess?
I don’t know if any of this even makes sense. The way I speak, my voice - I’m really self conscious about it. I hate how I sound. I hate hearing myself speak. I feel that I sound bored, sad, high, or just lacking of any emotion. Anyone that has known me for years doesn’t see it, but I do and strangers certainly hear it. In general, the public’s opinion doesn’t matter, but in school and work it matters a lot. It’s the different between a failing and passing grade on your speech or presentation (I was close to failing my communications class for lack of eye contact and not projecting my voice enough, which I really thought I was going a good job with), your customer service (people always ask why I’m so sad or bored), your class participation (I never seem to speak loud enough) and even just flirting and talking to people. Clearly something about the way I communicate is off, whether it be my voice itself, body language, tone of voice….though I think it may be all three. I just overall find myself extremely socially awkward. It’s something I need to work on. That and getting more sleep.
